The mugger points a revolver at me. He demands that I hand over any and all leather I might have on me.
“Shoes, belt, wallet. Anything with leather, hand it over!” he barks.
“The wallet is imitation leather,” I reply as he points at it.
“Keep it then,” he says, as he gathers up my other items. “Here, I don’t want this.” He has removed the buckle from my belt. He gives it back to me, because it is not leather.
“I’ve been pretty bad at being a mugging victim, haven’t I?” I ask him as he turns to leave.
“Yes, you have.” He and I both laugh heartily.
* * * *
I am the producer of a cable news program. We are in the studio.
“Try to look less like a hostage, and more like a news anchor,” I say to the news anchor.