Recovered piece of correspondence from my archives

Dear ________,

I write to you today from the skies above St. Louis, which I am flying to in order to find and befriend rock n’ roll pioneer Chuck Berry (who is 86 and might shortly expire). As a secondary mission I have been dispatched on a fact-finding mission sponsored –but not paid for– by the Libertarian Municipalist Congress of Sarasota, which has asked me to assess the revolutionary potential of this great American gateway-city.

To what degree do you think compromise with evil is justifiable? Also, how do you feel about kolaches? This morning I found myself embroiled in a shouting-match with a Texan who had become tired of them. I really do lose hope when I meet such people.

In polite extremism,

Nathan J. Robinson
Somewhere over Missouri, I think

P.S. Please reply when possible; I now need your opinion on a series of matters including:

the advisability of godlessness, Kronstadt, whether sporting events can be made socially healthy, good lemon bar recipes, how to banish masculinity while preserving men, the legacy of Buster Keaton, favourite subspecies of rattlesnake, the myth of Sisyphus, thoughts on pinstripes, Marshal Tito, the New Orleans “second line” and how it can be spread, whether Marmite is as wretched as my non-English peers keep insisting, what to think of conchologists, by what means our worldwide system of criminal wage-slavery ought to be illuminated and destroyed, which Monkee was most adorable (conventional wisdom has Davy, I say Michael), whether aesthetic bliss is ever an acceptable substitute for moral decency (see Orwell’s assault on Dalí and V. Nabokov’s defence of “apolitical” writing), the virtues and defects of nationalism, the murder of Fred Hampton and why they’ve all stopped talking about it (should we put up some reminder-posters or something?), how to deal with Seasonal Affective Disorder, how to attend a law school without constantly wanting to throw up, how to get to Havana in the last fragile years before capitalism finally sweeps in and pawns all those great 1950’s Chevrolets, the ethical responsibilities of scientists and technicians, whether Slavoj Žižek is totally full of shit, which Sly & the Family Stone album was best (yes, “There’s a Riot Goin’ On” makes a statement but damn if I don’t get depressed listening to that thing, which I certainly don’t with a more jubilant platter like “Dance to the Music”), whether Americans should be forced by the state to use roundabouts, dual power, the utility of universities, and a pet theory I have about James Brown and totalitarianism.

I also need to know whether you think I should accept a proposal a classmate has just given me to start a law firm that specializes in bringing lawsuits on behalf of dog-owners against police forces who have shot said dog-owners’ dogs during raids.

Damn it, ______, you are the only person here whose judgment I trust on these concerns.

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