Hens, of course, are not pigs — no argument about that — but the transition of thought between the two species is such an easy one that I feel this is the place to touch on the report from Paradise, Nebraska, that the local agricultural school has discovered that if pigs are given eight drinks of whisky a day they ‘acquire an optimistic view of life.’ Mr John B. Fosdyke, a member of the staff of the school, says they develop a strong liking for these refreshers and ‘get very cheerful.’ Does one or does one not shake the head? It all turns, it seems to me, on what is implied in the word ‘cheerful.’ Naturally, pig-lovers like their protégés to look on the bright side –a pig that goes about wrapped in a Byronic gloom can cast a shadow on the happiest farm — but one does not want them getting over-familiar with strangers and telling long stories without any point. And what of the morning after? I can see a Paradise pig being irresistibly gay and amusing all through Monday up to closing time, and on Tuesday sitting in a corner with its head in its hands and merely grunting when spoken to. There is no companion more depressing than a pig with a really bad hangover. Paradise, in my opinion, should watch its step.

– from P.G. Wodehouse, Wodehouse on Wodehouse, p. 607.

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